When someone says they just want to be friends and nothing more, listen to them. Don’t try to force their hand into liking you because it won’t turn out well. No one wants someone to be with them for the wrong reasons. If someone truly likes you, they won’t just say it, they’ll show it on their own in little (and big!) things that they do like hold the door for you, kiss your forehead when you’re cuddling and watch that one stupid movie that you love so much.
If none of your friends like them and I mean none of them, then maybe you should take a step back and look at why that might be. Trust me, it’ll save you a lot of headaches. If none of your friends AND family like them, there is something seriously wrong. They’ll wind up hurting you in the long run one way or another.
But most of all, cherish what you have now, work hard for what you want in the future, always speak the truth and listen intently to what’s being said to you. Don’t over think, don’t care too little, love with all your heart, and always, always bring an extra pair of comfortable shoes when you’re out in heels.
Dear younger self,
When someone says they just want to be friends and nothing more, listen to them. Don’t try to force their hand into liking you because it won’t turn out well. No one wants someone to be with them for the wrong reasons. If someone truly likes you, they won’t just say it, they’ll show it on their own in little (and big!) things that they do like hold the door for you, kiss your forehead when you’re cuddling and watch that one stupid movie that you love so much.
If none of your friends like them and I mean none of them, then maybe you should take a step back and look at why that might be. Trust me, it’ll save you a lot of headaches. If none of your friends AND family like them, there is something seriously wrong. They’ll wind up hurting you in the long run one way or another.
But most of all, cherish what you have now, work hard for what you want in the future, always speak the truth and listen intently to what’s being said to you. Don’t over think, don’t care too little, love with all your heart, and always, always bring an extra pair of comfortable shoes when you’re out in heels.
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after reading an honest and heartfelt blog post from one sweet blogger, i am inspired to talk about the various emotions many feel at one time or another — at least i do — when attempting to dream big and make those dreams a reality.
how many people feel scared and unsure at times because they are not travelling the traditional, straight path? i often find myself on a rollercoaster of emotions because of all the twists and turns i’ve taken in my life. i go from being charged with energy, feeling like i can take on the world, confidently doing work i love, to hiding under the covers wondering what in the heck i’m doing. under the fuzzy green blanket i’m asking myself, who am i to think i can pull this off? what makes me feel worse is when others start questioning my path. thank goodness i don’t have many of those people in my life.
taking a less travelled path and creating a career for yourself is not an easy choice. so many times in the last 10 years, i wished that i had known exactly what i wanted to do when i was younger, followed that path, and then be more settled now, more financially secure. but my good friend, cory, said to me once, “lynette, would you trade all of your experiences, travels, adventures, the person you’ve grown into today, just to be more stable and secure now?” of course my response was no! i like who i’ve become. thank goodness i am not the same person i was 10 years ago. i love the circle of people in my life. i love that when i’m a baba, i’ll be able to talk about all the adventures i’ve had and all the learning i’ve done.
so, on those days when i start to feel shaky and unsure, first off, i accept that is exactly how i’m feeling at that moment instead of trying to push those emotions away. second, i try to stop fuelling the fire with negative thoughts. when you’re feeling scared, insecure, unsure, or any other emotion, it’s so easy to make up stories in your head and worry about things that are not even real. it is really easy to let your thoughts get out of control. finding something positive to say to yourself at these times helps to counter the negativity. i have started saying, “how human of me!” (thanks to judith hanson lasater.) and third, i think back to what my friend asked me, if i would be willing to trade how i’ve grown for the easier path. my answer is always no.
i think if we are willing to jump off of cliffs, to take chances on following our dreams, we have to be willing to accept the challenges and remember that they are worth it. i’m hoping so anyway.
Lynette age 33 from My Creative Fling
Make more friends- people don’t dislike you. They’re just terrified of you. You scare them to death. Talk more. Speak up. Share better. Smile. You don’t smile enough. Smile lots.
Don’t introduce her to him. It’s the worst idea you’ve ever had. I’m not sure it makes you a better person on the other end. It will completely unhinge you and only leave you wondering why.
If you would like to share some words of wisdom or write a note to your younger self, click on the submit link at the top of the page or email your wise words to onherway1@gmail.com
Understand that it is okay for people to be in your life for a short time. You may love them with your whole heart. You may have the most fun you’ve ever had with them. They may feel like your missing puzzle pieces. But people come and people go, and you’ve got to be okay with that because in the end, it’s out of your hands. Learn to enjoy them while you’ve got them.
Dear Younger Me,
You know. I got married 12 years ago at the ripe old age of 19 with the intention of being married forever. Never once did I stray from this thought. I was willing to forgive, move forward, work things out. Soon to be ex-husband was in college and I’d do anything to help him out, you name it. Why some people would ask? Because he is (was) my husband. His success is also mine, etc. He was trying to not just better himself, but our family. So I thought.
I realize now that I compromised way too much of myself for a man. A man who I thought would love me till the end of time. I was unselfish and put him and my children first, above everyone and everything else including myself. And for what? To argue about who gets what car and that he thinks I want too much child support and visitation and holidays. Motherfucker, those are my kids! You worked, you went to school, yes, but you also did whatever you wanted in your free time. Fuck you. You want the kids more just so you can drop them off at your lameass mom’s house. How many times do kids need McDonald’s in a 48 hour period? Am I crazy to think 3 times is too many?
I know I’m rambling. But shit, I’m tired. I’m tired of sending screaming children off with him. I’m tired of living in this ghettoass apartment and then you tell me your selling our damn house. I’m tired of not getting laid, knowing you’re probably fucking every damn chick that walks by. I’m tired of being the only one who sets rules, follows through, gives healthy meals and enforced bedtime. I’m tired of having to explain shit to the kids, detangling the lies you and your lameass family tell them, and dealing with the nightmare of crankiness from confusion and lack of sleep I get every time they come home to me.
You’re lame. I’ve given you way too much credit over the years. I’m more a man than you are and way more woman than you deserve. I’ll be happier without you. And I’ll laugh as you get fatter and lose more hair, and laugh when those college bitches you’re hooking up with realize a 35 year old divorced man who pays an assload of child support and really doesn’t have shit to offer isn’t that glamorous. I’ll really laugh when you realize that men do still want me, and that they’re better than you are. You’ll realize that you made a mistake, but trust me, it’s way too late for all that. You’ve said and done way too much to take that back now. I just wish you realized what you had before you threw it away.
I don’t expect that anyone read that. But damn, I really had to get it out. I’m alone here and that sucks. I talk to my mom but she doesn’t even know what to say to me. Divorce sucks.
A
